April 5, 2018
Image Credit: ©lakov- Deposit Photos
Some moments may seem indistinguishable from others…others life changing.
Recognizing this difference for me is key to the growth I have promised myself for 2018. This is part of my inner growth. Part of me realizing that I cannot judge what I have not lived.
This is part of my need to share my story with those of you who share this journey with me, here within my blog, or otherwise.
The lesson from this realization has been that my choices have affected my life. I made great choices when I was able to. I had a strong support circle at the moment back when I was younger that stepped up and helped me when I needed it. They offered the resources, I chose to make the decisions from there.
The deeper realization of this growth though, that my children get to make their own choices. That is a tough one any parent can recognize. We want nothing more than to protect our children from the bad, show them the path we think they need to follow them and offer them everything we can to get to the “perfect” place. What happens when you wake up to discover everything you have shown them, taught them and wanted for them has been ignored?
Nothing. That’s what happens. There really are no parental super powers beyond being a parent and hoping for the best and that all the little things have been noticed. That is a harsh reality. That is the moment when you can only watch. You can hope, pray and nag too, but kids have an amazing ability – selective hearing. Parent kryptonite. Harsh reality of what you want meeting the reality of this crazy thing called choices.
I can make all the choices I want each day I move forward, but I must except that the responsibility of being a parent comes with one startling truth…you can only make your own choices. You can try to make your child’s choices… you can do everything including forcing consequences onto them, but you never get to really choose for them.
It comes with the reality that no matter what we want our children to have or experience, they get the final say. Stop killing yourself over the falsehood of anything else. Life is too short.
They get to decide to climb out the window in the middle of the night. They get to decide to take a bus to go buy booze somewhere else and hang around drinking it. They get to do drugs, drink alcohol, cut themselves, post naked pics online, steal stuff and they may have 6 different Facebook accounts and you only know about 1. They can steal your money, your alcohol, sell your jewellery, hurt you in ways you cannot understand and rip your heart from your very body.
However, they can never stop you from loving them with all your heart. This is the one reality that keeps me going, day after day. I have stopped asking “how can this keep happening to me”? The truth is it is not happening to me, I am allowing it to affect me based on my own beliefs and my own choices to allow the negative to become a personal failure on my part. It isn’t. I know today that I am the best mom I can be. Everyday.
Let me share with you one truth I am uncovering. There are lessons to be learned around us each and every day. I may not like the lesson, but by being aware of my ability to control my emotions concerning that lesson, I have taken back all my power. I choose to love my children and myself everyday no matter what. If I don’t, then what?
Life is short and I for one, will live it to its fullest.
Thank you for allowing me to share with you my thoughts, my heart and my experiences. I grow with each posting and for that I am grateful to all of you allowing me into your lives.