March 3, 2019
Image Credit: ©OlezzoSimona - Deposit Photos
It seems like a lifetime ago that I was the "old me". I was stuck in a rut. I was literally freaking out because my oldest daughter was cutting, using and struggling with her mental health.
Four years I thought I gave it my all. Four years I listened to all the people that knew better than me. Four years I visited her in group homes, gave her what I thought would "heal" her, dropped everything to take off to the emergency room to see if this was the last time...four years....
June 2017 I was on depression and anxiety medication. I was on leave from my job, I was overweight, I was not giving the equal attention and love to my other two children and I was someone I didn't recognize in the mirror.
Something snapped in me...I had written my daughter's eulogy too many times to remember, I was a zombie and I was losing any piece of me that used to get up and fight for myself and my family.
I don't remember the exact series of events...I just know this:
- that month I bought myself a ticket to Unleash the Power Within in New Jersey (did I mention I was in debt, a lot of debt); I booked an Airbnb not far from the arena and I bought my ticket
- late June or July - I went to New Jersey and attended that event - by myself - 14,000 people and I knew no one (well I knew two amazing people I realized on the way back when I met them at the airport home)
- that first night of the 4 day event - I did the fire walk... this woman left that poor me, why me mom behind when I walked that lane of burning coal... took about 6 more months to realize that completely, but a huge chunk of her stayed on the other side of that fire walk that night - I hit the end of that walk and I have never, never felt that alive!!!
-fastforward December 2017 - I set some big goals for 2018...my daughter was living her life, I was living mine. I was the mother I had always been...but now I was the person I always knew I was destined to be...there is no going back from what I had crossed too
- three big goals by December 2018- lose 30 pounds, get a charity started to help other parents struggling with children with addiction and mental health issues and buy a property I could later develop into a multi family rental bldg
-my daughter turned a page, I went back to my job, I found the me I knew was always there....
Dec 2, 2018- Tony Robbins Date with Destiny was around the corner - I realized I wasn't going to lose 30 lbs by the end of the year - but I cheated and pulled out my letter of Affirmation - HOLY SHIT.... I had started the charity when I returned from UPW and forgotten that's how it started...I had purchased a property that will be developed in the future...HOLY SHIT I had only lost 22 lbs but I was still on the road to improving my health in every aspect and my daughter was alive...she may not be where I wanted her to be, but here was the biggest takeaway of the whole year - I was where I needed to be...and shit if that wasn't all I could control and HOLY SHIT if that wasn't way better than I could have every imagined
IF you are still reading this, BLESS you, you are a true friend....
I surround myself with the family and friends I have here and the new family and friends I made at DWD and continue to make daily. I push the limits on the life I have to live and I live it daily - I play full out every day - I am a certified Insight Coach and i'm headed to Tony Robbins Leadership event in Sept 2018; I host monthly workshops to help others achieve their best lives.... I am living every single day to its fullest....
If you know me well, you have seen the journey...even my doctor laughed when she took me off my medication, that she was going to have to start prescribing Tony Robbins events for her patients....what ever works for you, invest in it!!
BUT, this is only the beginning...this is only the start of what I am truly capable of achieving...and as I did the elliptical today I laughed, because I realized I still haven't hit 155 lbs...but who cares, this year is barely begun and I'm still working out, I'm still mindful of being healthier, and I am serving others on a bigger scale through my story and my experiences...so thank you. Thank you for reading this, thank you for being a part of my journey, thank you for the support, for sharing your wins, your bumps, your bruises but mostly...
THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU!!!! I wouldn't be me without all of you.